Part of the reason why I began writing this blog and taking it more seriously is that I wanted to change my life.

For too long I had been feeling trapped, alone, and unproductive, so I decided that I would put a complete end to that by trying something new.

I ended up changing pretty much every single part of my life kind of manically, but the complete turnaround helped me a lot. Mostly, it meant that I couldn’t go back to any of the old parts of my life that didn’t work for me. At all.

It was around this time that I started learning more about alter-ego’s, and the idea that you can create an entirely new version of yourself. At first, I thought it was ridiculous, and that it wouldn’t help me, but then I tried it.

First, I spent a little bit of time writing down all the things I hated or wanted to change about my life. I didn’t bother coming up with solutions just yet, but instead just wrote down everything I no longer wanted. As you can imagine, it was a big list, and it felt pretty awful thinking about it all.

Then I worked on figuring out what the opposite of those things were, or at least, one action I could take to change the part of my life that I didn’t like.

For example, here are a few of those actions:

• I don’t like my hair because it is frizzy and boring → dye it!
• I don’t like my job, I feel my talents are being wasted, I’m not listened to, and I’m exhausted → ask for people to be references, apply to a range of jobs, upskill myself, make connections.
• I don’t like how lazy and unmotivated I am → write a to-do list out every single evening and add to it during the day (even adding new jobs to cross them off and record what I’ve done)

Are these all solutions? No. Are they improvements? Yes!

Dying my hair doesn’t make it less frizzy, in fact it only damaged my hair further, but at least now it isn’t boring, and I enjoy taking care of it more.

Applying to more jobs doesn’t guarantee I will get a job, so instead I worked on doing all the things that would make me a better candidate for work.

I won’t lie, feeling unmotivated is tough, but what’s even tougher is living a life I hate. There is no magical fix-all that will make you feel motivated, so you have to get serious and start working. I like to-do lists, so that’s what I use. Digital ones don’t work well for me, but handwritten ones do, so that’s what I use. Understand what doesn’t work for you, so you can find what does work.

Sometimes I think people get too caught up in finding the perfect solution, but I found the most results here when I looked at all the negatives and things I didn’t want. Then, I worked on removing them from my life.

The same went for me – my personality, my actions and behaviours, and my beliefs. I figured out what I didn’t want to be anymore, flipped the script, and then I had the person that I do want to be.

My alter-ego is powerful, intelligent, disciplined, wise, beautiful, strong, and kind. She is focused and does everything she needs to get everything she wants. She sets clear goals and chips away at them daily, she takes care of herself while also setting firm boundaries – even with herself! I am able to negotiate with myself now, because I know that my alter-ego keeps her word. I can allow time for rest and fun when I need it, rather than attempting to put it off until I have ‘time’, because I know everything will still get done.

It also helped me to wade through all my own mental rubbish by asking one simple question: ‘Would my alter-ego allow this in her life?’

She’s hardly on a pedestal, but I believe her to be more intelligent, more intentional, and more careful than I am, so I take her ‘advice’ very seriously. If she would not allow negative self-talk, unfair treatment at work, or laziness in her life, why would I allow it in mine? In this way, I’m becoming more like her every day.

It’ is strange to think that I can discard all the rubbish that my ‘old self’ has, and create something new and better for myself. Yet, it’s also a massive relief. I can make myself the person that I want to be.

I am creating someone that I can look up to and grow through, someone who will help me through some of life’s toughest moments and lessons. I admire the person I am becoming, and I can’t wait to see the results of this change.