This is a truth that I don’t think anyone realises as much or as deeply as they need to.

When babies and young children are growing up, they are quite literally, experiencing life as if it is their first time on earth. Because it kind of is.

They don’t understand why they can’t have certain things, or where every loud noise comes from, or how to do something we find easy. They cannot communicate like us, they cannot share their experiences like us, and they are probably exhausted from learning all day every day. Think of your own first few weeks at a new job or in university. How difficult was it to constantly be bombarded with new ideas, opinions, processes and more? Imagine that in a tiny body too. Whew.

But that process doesn’t ever stop. We are always learning, always growing, and always experiencing new things. Now, I want you to stick with me, because I do think this will be a contentious one, but I also think that it’s important to consider this.

Nearly every day people may encounter entirely new ideas that they have never heard before. For example, my grandmother used to be far less accepting of the world because she grew up in a very small and secluded country town in north Queensland. She travelled to England where she met my grandfather, but otherwise she did not spend much of her time interacting with much of the world. Her lack of knowledge about many modern issues and perspectives seemed absolutely crazy to me, but I learned early on that when I asked her about things or shared my ideas, she was literally hearing about them for the first time.

Now, I’ve heard the arguments that ‘its the 21st century’ and ‘everyone should know this by now’. I’m here to tell you that is simply not true. It would be ideal, don’t get me wrong, but it is not necessarily here just yet.

I recall a few years ago during a Tiffany campaign, Beyoncé was the first Black woman to wear the Tiffany diamond, and many people were furious. I saw numerous posts and comments about how there shouldn’t be anymore ‘firsts’ like this because we should have already moved past it. I thought that was strange, and perhaps worrying because many companies may then become fearful to break through that barrier. Of course, that is ridiculous, but alas, I do not pretend to understand what goes through the minds of many CEOs and marketers.

This isn’t to say that there is no hope for us. People are absolutely becoming more curious, and in general, I think they are willing to be more accepting with the right guidance.

Unfortunately, I recognise how exhausting this is for groups who are tired of having to give advice. POC, members of the LGBT+ community, Indigenous peoples, and women are tired of having to explain to others why they want to be respected and understood. It should not be such a huge ask, but we are still in a time where many people remain trapped in old, harmful ways.

Which is why we all need to step up. We shouldn’t all need to be experts in every social justice issue ever, but for the ones that we do know more about, we should be ready to engage in difficult conversations to help people understand. Will it be perfect? No, no progress ever is, but we are looking for progress anyway. If you can move someone away from feeling hatred or bigotry to curiosity then that is a win, perhaps someone else will come along later to help them take the next step from curiosity to understanding to acceptance. You cannot win every single war, but you can win battles here and there, you know?

Anyway, my point is that we need to have a little more grace with people. It is exhausting trying to convince people that you deserve to be treated with respect, but it is an issue that we will overcome through persistence. Unfortunately, until the oppressors realise how they are contributing to the oppression and why they should stop it, they won’t change.

For the men out there, the white people, the people who dislike LGBT+ ways of life, and to the people living on colonised land – hearing how you contribute to or benefit the problems is never easy.

Once again: hearing how you contribute to or benefit from the problems is never easy. But its harder still to live with the problems. It is harder to bear the scorn, punishment, and suffering from those who would use their power to hurt you.

This contribution to and benefitting from practises, consciously or not, is called privilege. Don’t freak out because its been co-opted as a buzz-word, it’s just a word we use to describe something. And that something is called privilege, which you cannot ask for and often are either born with or not. It is given unfairly and gives you advantages that others do not have

As such, it is important to face your privilege, recognise how you may unconsciously participate in these practises, listen to those who are being harmed, and act to help them.

Perhaps there are some things that you may have to change or give up, but you are doing it for the good of all. We do not live in a vacuum, our actions, words, and beliefs do impact other people, so lets all do what we can to help others. Because I know that you would want that same help.