When my siblings and I were younger (I’m talking ten and below!), we were horribly afraid of going upstairs in the dark. I can’t remember whatever it was that scared us so much, but I know we absolutely hated it. Worse, the light switch, for whatever reason, was only at the top of the stairs too, so you’d have to walk all the way up and around to turn it on.

Mum must have been absolutely sick of us asking her to go upstairs with us for it, so she told us the simplest piece of advice: just take a step and look around.

So we would. One step up, and everything was fine. The railing had plenty of gaps which allowed light through, so we could still see everything. Then she said it again: take another step and look around.

One more step up, and everything was still fine. Again, take a step, again look around, again realise everything is fine. We’d do this until we were at the top, and then the light switch was only one more step away. In no time, we’d made it to the top of the dark stairs, completely unscathed.

This is a silly and rather embarrassing little story from my youth, but this advice has genuinely been some of the best I have ever received. If afraid, worried, stressed, angry, in pain or in doubt at any point in your life, all you need to do is take a step and look around.

Painfully simple, this advice has helped me every day. No matter how big or small the problem I face, the formula is simple.

Take a step = try something! What do you think is the next best move you could make? Try it, and see what happens. If you find it successful, you take the next best step and reevaluate. If not, you try something different.

I recall telling this advice to my friend in high school, as she raged about how stupid it was that we had to choose a university degree and decide our whole life while we were still teenagers. I’d never thought about it like that, especially because were always getting told how Gen-Z are most likely to have a handful of different careers in life. (Besides, does anyone want to do the same thing for their whole life? Wouldn’t you get bored?)

Anyway, I told her that I saw it as taking our next step. Of course you don’t have to decide your whole life right outside of high school. Thank God for that! Choosing a university degree—or choosing not to study—is about choosing what we want to try in the next stage of our life. Nothing in life is permanent, so even if we did make a choice ‘for the rest of our life’, there are any number of things that could happen randomly to change that too!

My friend was surprised by that perspective, and while she wasn’t too happy with it initially (she was very stubborn lol), I think she came around eventually.

I’ve shared this advice with many people in my time, and they’ve all been surprised by the simplicity of it, as well as my calmness. You have to let people try things and make their own mistakes. Let them learn that a specific choice will lead to a specific outcome, and let them learn the resilience required to get back up again when they’re knocked down.

It’s helped me during travel and during times when life wasn’t going so well. All you need to do is take the next best step.

Phone is almost out of charge and you don’t know the way back to your accommodation in a foreign city? What now? Maybe try and memorise the next few turns and translate a few sentences you can use if things go pear shaped. Make a note to get a portable charger ASAP, and bring a hardcopy map.

Car A/C has gone kaput and there is a weird cranking sound every time you’re turning? Book the car in with the mechanic and start budgeting like mad. Can’t afford to fix the A/C yet? Get some fans for the car and get used to driving with all the windows down.

Hate your job and can’t find another one? Play little mini games to make it more enjoyable. Talk with the customers more to pass the time. Avoid thinking too negatively about work, lest you get into a spiral. Apply like crazy to anything and everything. Consider heading back to retail…

The benefit of this advice is that it keeps everything in perspective. You’re taking one small step, looking around and taking another small step. Those small steps won’t get you from your current position (A) to your desired reality (Z) overnight. But by going from A to B, you’ve made a little bit of progress. Then you can go from B to C, and C to D. You’re still not there, but now you might know a little more to take you straight from D to G. Maybe G is a little too far for you initially, but you look around and learn, and then you can jump from G to J.

Taking this alphabetic analogy a little further, J might not be where you want to go, so you can go back to I, or move ahead again to K. Or, you might realise this is the wrong path entirely and you don’t even want Z any more. Maybe then you realise you want option #53, so you’ve got to take stock of where you are and you realise you’re currently sitting around 41—twelve steps to go.

I hope all of that made sense, but even if it didn’t the advice remains the same:

Struggling at work with a project you don’t really understand? Take a step and look around.

Don’t know how to navigate an awkward or difficult situation with a friend or acquaintance? Take a step and look around.

Feeling like you’re at rock bottom and everything sucks? Take a step and look around.

So, have you ever had to take a step and look around to see where you’re going? What steps did you take on that journey? What mistakes did you make? What lessons did you learn? What step are you going to take next?

I’d love to hear from you, and see what your next move is going to be!