This is a truth that can be difficult to hear and harder to face. It seems simple at first, but understanding this might change the way you look at your life, the way it did for me.

How you do anything in life is important. Do you work hard, giving a fair effort to all your endeavours, regardless of outcome? Or do you weight different things and give only what you think is required?

I’m not here to judge which approach is better, as everyone is different. What works for one doesn’t work for another, especially if there are additional challenges like disability or mental health reasons. Even time and energy are real constraints that limit how much effort we can give to various causes.

But I think it’s still an important question to consider.

• How am I showing up for this task/project/action?

• Am I content with this effort or do I think I should be doing more/less?

• Am I cutting corners unnecessarily? Or am I giving too much time to something that is not going to help myself or others?

I was thinking about this question for myself as while getting my university degree. With a temporary promotion at work and all my efforts to improve myself personally, I felt my commitment to my education was falling away. It was frustrating, as dedicating more to one of these pursuits detracted from the others—or at least limited them.

Time, energy, and focus were my pain points. I didn’t have enough of these to do all that I needed, or at least, not to do them all well. Unfortunately, I was doing everything half-hearted or half-exhausted.

My work got done, but I was burned out, frustrated and a little cranky.

My university assignments were all bad, barely scraping through with pass marks.

My efforts to improve my life psychologically, socially, and leisurely were all tainted by my fatigue and frustration.

Unfortunately, because everything started slipping, I wanted to try less and less. Growing discouraged, my efforts were not up to the standards that I hold for myself. This quote shook me as I realised that I was not doing things the way I wanted for my university work, and this was seeping into my job and personal life. So something had to change, and quickly. Annoying as it was, I had to rework things or give them up.

I was able to change my work hours to support my university times better, though it still wasn’t a great setup.

I had to manage expectations around what could actually be accomplished at work, and exercise patience when things had to be re-prioritised.

I reworked my weeks to fit around my necessities and leave the excess out for now—ensuring that my own psychological health was a priority too.

Once I read a quote that said something like if you do not choose to rest, your body will make you rest. It’s an important warning that I’ve carried with me throughout my life, because it applies to so many situations.

If you do not make time to rest, your body will get sick and you will be forced to do so.

If you do not choose to sleep, you will be forced to do so when your body gives out.

If you do not exercise your mind and body, you will be forced to work even harder later in life when these functions disappear.

If you do not heal your past hurts and traumas, you will suffer the consequences of your destructive habits.

There is no hiding from yourself, so you might as well learn to face yourself and work with yourself. It will save you so much heartache later if you can figure these things out now.

Wherever you go, there you are.

So, how you do anything is how you do everything. Take this as a friendly warning. Look at all the things you do in your life, and decide how content you are with them.

If there are things you want to change, you must recognise your patterns. Consider who you want to be and how you want to do things.

Some people are happy with half-hearted efforts and barely-there attempts, and you have to let them be that way. Others hold high standards for themselves and hope to perform well in all their endeavours. You may not always be great, but it’s your effort that matters most. As long as you are satisfied that you gave it your best attempt, you will usually walk away happy.