I feel like I’m a pro at getting rejected. Throughout my life there have been so many chances and opportunities that I’ve been shut out of time and time again. Rejections from people, jobs, prizes, opportunities, and gifts…You name it, I’ve probably been rejected from it, sometimes nicely, sometimes painfully.
I like to think I’ve taken them all in stride and used it to fuel me on my journey to greater success. The good thing is that everyone has to experience and deal with rejection, so I know I’m not special.
The downside is that it sucks.
Experiencing ‘no’ after ‘no’ doesn’t get much easier, but it can become your greatest gift!
First of all, it teaches you resilience. If you can stick with it, and keep asking again and again, knowing that rejection is coming, you’ll be leagues ahead of everyone else.
Why? Because most people don’t try. At all. Seriously, you would be surprised at how many people admit to never even giving things a go.
They’d rather go into their shell and shun the world entirely. Safe in their bubble, they don’t need to suffer through the pain of rejection.
At least there, they don’t need to face themselves or their desire, or experience discomfort and the grief of a lost opportunity. Unfortunately, they don’t learn how to manage these feelings, or practise picking yourself up to try again.
Gabriella Carr even went so far as setting the challenge for herself, to get 1,000 rejections. ‘Unfortunately’ (I write sarcastically), she hasn’t been able to get those yet, as she keeps landing the very opportunities she is trying to get rejected from. I mean, how good is that? She is a living experiment that shows just how gettable many of our goals are.
Now, I don’t want to hear any of you Debbie Downer’s spouting all the reasons why you personally couldn’t possibly achieve any good things in your life. We’ve all got challenges, and we’ve all got things that hold us back. The grass is always greener on the other side because we can’t see the paint on the blades or the synthetic turf used to make it so green. You never know what people are going through, so it’s best to stay in your lane and focus on what you need to do.
You know what, if you’re so sure nothing will ever work out for you, go and prove it. Put yourself out there for every awesome opportunity and goal you have and see what results you get. This is my challenge to you!
Back to the point however, there’s another sneaky benefit that most people miss too…
When you’ve gotten used to being rejected so often, you are faced with two options: sinking into the pits of disappointment or trying again.
And the best part of trying again is you get a whole new opportunity for success. In a way, you’ve always got a 50-50 chance of things working out. Either it does work or it doesn’t. You can do certain things to increase the possibility of success too, which will ultimately turn those odds in your favour too. Think of practising, networking, taking lessons etc.
The most important thing is that you keep trying, because the odds are that eventually one of your attempts is going to work out. Now, this is not an endorsement for gambling! At least, not with money or other stupid things like that.
I’m talking about opportunities in your own life.
Apply for the jobs you want, and take every rejection in stride—you might get some good feedback, or redirection to another person or company who might be interested in you.
Chat with people on the day-to-day, as you never know who might be your next friend, network connection, business partner, or romantic relationship.
Ask for opportunities and offer what you can to get them (well, within reason!).
I speak from experience, but you don’t just have to listen to me. Go out there and listen to any successful person who has accomplished even half of the things you’d like to do. They’ll say the same: take the leap!
Recently I did just that. I’ve been working on this blog more, improving my consistency and topics, while growing my SEO ability. Thankfully, I’ve seen my efforts rewarded with more views and interactions each day. While wondering and praying about what the next step for me might be, I got an email from a business asking me to consider writing a review for them.
I was surprised, to say the least, but excited too. This year I’ve been looking into the possibility of becoming a reviewer, because I believe it is one of those things that I’d enjoy doing—and do well! It felt like a moment of divine alignment, where my efforts were culminating in a personalised gift. I said yes, asking for a complimentary experience, and to my delight, I got it!
At the time it felt like a shot in the dark, but there was something almost destined about it too. This is what I want to do (along with all my other big dreams), and by aligning myself, the world seemed to follow suit.
The reason I was able to make this request however, and get a result that was even better than I first thought, is because I’ve been rejected so much. What’s another one to me?
I’m almost unaffected by these things, because I know that eventually something will land, and land well! Being unafraid of rejection has opened me up to more opportunities and possibilities, because others have also learned that I refuse to let it get me down. They encourage me and connect me too, and I can’t wait to see how this journey progresses.
I admit, I do say ‘almost unaffected’ because I’m only human too. There are times when they still sting, like parting ways with my Literary Agent or any of the little awkward ones in day to day life. This isn’t a bad thing either, because it shows you care. What matters most is how you respond afterwards. Don’t let it get you down for too long, and you’ll be sweet.
So, how are you going to learn to enjoy rejection? Will you ‘microdose’ little amounts of it by seeking out rejections in your everyday life. The only way out is through, so get started now and you will reap the rewards for the rest of your life.
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