A few years ago I got this funny and rather helpful book called ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k‘ by Sarah Knight, and it introduced this amazing idea of a ‘F*ck budget’.

The general idea is that you categorise everything according to this budget. If something falls in your budget, you are allowed to care about it, spend time on it, and give your energy to it. If not though, you leave it alone, as in, you don’t dwell on it, nor worry or give your precious energy to it.

Of course, it is a little more nuanced than that black and white thinking, but it is a good place to start working out what you want to pour your time and effort into, and what you don’t.

However, please don’t just disregard the people around you because something they said didn’t fall into your ‘care’ category. It’s more about what things you are going to give your mental energy to. For example, I care about the world around me, so I do seek out news about what’s happening, but my family and friends don’t always want to know the nitty-gritty details about the latest human rights infraction I learned about. I need to respect their boundaries, but as part of our relationship they sometimes need to listen to my rants from time to time too.

Now how can this help you?

Simple, decide what you’re going to give your time and energy to. For me, it went something like this:

This is just a small sample of those things, but it helps me make some very quick decisions about what I’m going to listen to and tolerate in my life. It also helped me to prioritise my life and choose what I wanted to spend time on.

Still, I think it’s important to emphasise that this is not an excuse for you to be awful to other people! Please stay kind! Remember that other people have things that they care about and don’t care about, and that is okay. Everyone is different, and while we would probably all love it if everyone thought the way we do, that’s not how things are!

Unfortunately, this difference means there will be people out there who don’t care about the latest news, or every social justice issue out there, as in my example. That is also okay! It may not be ideal, if you really care about those things, and maybe you make ‘convince other people to help [cause]’ into one of the things you do care about, but remember that your own peace is important too.

Who knows, maybe they are really passionate about a different cause, or maybe they’re in a phase of their life where they are putting their own mental health first, so they are limiting their exposure to the news. It is not our place to judge, but it is our place to respect others.

Stay understanding and compassionate, everyone has their own battles. Don’t add to others, and don’t let them add to yours by sticking to your budget!