Have you ever stuck with doing something, even though you know it isn’t working for you? Maybe you’re still drinking a crappy coffee you bought, because it was $7 or maybe you’re still at a job you hate because you’ve already worked there 20 years, so what’s 10 more?

That is the Sunk Cost Fallacy. The Decision Lab describes it as “our tendency to follow through with something that we’ve already invested heavily in (be it time, money, effort, or emotional energy), even when giving up is clearly a better idea.”

I’ve been learning a lot this year, and trying so many new things, but I think I’ve finally realised that it might all be too much. Working full-time, studying part-time at university, writing multiple books, working on building a blog and social media presence to promote said books, maintaining relationships, trying out therapy, and just general day-to-day chores is a massive load for any one person. It might be impressive if more things were going right, but that’s not my reality, sadly.

This isn’t to say that I don’t want to work towards the things that I want, but there’s no point doing so much when nothing is really working anyway. Hence my decision to take a step back and reevaluate. I had to look at what I was doing and figure out what I really wanted. Only then could I make a better decision.

My second university degree is in data science and programming, fields that I am interested but ultimately inexperienced in. I started in semester 2 of this year, and I have enjoyed learning the material, but I am a total beginner. The unit moved rapidly, and with so much else going on (mostly work, I’ll be honest), I have not been able to keep up. It’s a shame, because I believe that with more time, energy, and effort, I would enjoy the course more and do rather well. However, it’s been freeing for me to acknowledge that I have done the best I could with my situation, and I don’t have to continue if things aren’t working. Yes, I have invested plenty of time and money into this so far, but I’d rather cut my losses now than in a few years when I’m even deeper in. No sunk cost fallacy here.

It was also important for me to note that this is not one of those times when I say ‘never again’. I’d love to be a proficient programmer, and understand all the stuff going on in this fascinating field, but it’s not realistic for me to do this degree right now. That doesn’t mean I can’t continue studying, practising and learning from different sources in the meantime.Maybe in a few years I will go back to it, ready and much better equipped—in fact, I hope this is the case.

However, I am also hoping that I can dedicate my time to the things that I really love, need, and desire now. While I’ve been struggling to complete everything I needed for this degree, I have found that writing on my blog, promoting it, and connecting with people has been easier than ever. Ideas flow, I’ve had more success reaching new audiences, and I’m enjoying it.

I am not the biggest believer in those sayings like ‘what’s meant for you will find you’ or ‘if it’s right for you, it won’t need force’ but this might change my mind. While I’ve been pushing so hard to get any traction with my study, my creative writing and exploring has been so effortless. Well, ‘effortless’ is a bit generous (it still takes a lot of time and effort to write a good post and put it out there), but it’s been easier than I’ve ever found it.

I’ve had this blog for a few years now, and I’m only just now finding my voice and realising what I want to do with it. I am multipassionate and interested in trying lots of new things. It makes sense that I would like to pursue writing and programming alongside all my other hobbies and interests, but I’m getting better at accepting that I can’t do it all—and I don’t need to. Writing this blog enables me to combine a lot of these interests in one place already. It’s been my most long-standing love, and regardless of the other interests that come and go, I always return here.

If that’s not a clear sign, I don’t know what else is. So, I’m not giving up on this degree or my interest in programming, but I am shifting it for now. Pivoting, if you will. I may not know how I’ll return to it, but I am sure I will some day. In the meantime, I’m going to keep working on this blog, keep exploring my city and world, and writing the books I love. Fingers crossed it all works out! I mean, it always has.

Until next time! x